I cannot believe how long it has been since I've posted onto the blog. I have had so much fun being creative and creating marketing and communication collateral. I have received so much feedback regarding coaching and youth, and the confusion around how it all works. Here is a starting infographic to show you the basics. If you have any questions or would like to walk through the process or your own specific situation, please do not hesitate to contact me. I create specialized programs, as people are all unique. I would love to talk to you!
This person knows us through and through. They know our history, our stories, our fears, our dreams, and they do not judge us nor tear us down. On bad days, we fight. On good days, we forgive and stand beside each other. They are the ones who teach us how to figure out this world, how to interact successfully with people, and how to compromise, fight, and genuinely forgive. They are the ones, that despite it all, are on this journey with us. We love them and they love us.
From the beginning, we met kids on the playground. They were new to the game as well, so many days included struggles, tempers, and sharing wars. As we grew, those friends evolved to the status of acquaintances, friends, or enemies. Through it all, we have had people come in and out of our lives. Regardless of the reason they may have left, we grew with each situation and occurrence. We discovered a little piece about ourselves, and maybe decided a thing or two about our own future. Every person who enters our life leaves something behind. What we do with it is up to us.
Today’s world is different. We are technology driven and thrive on the fast and furious lifestyle. We are hooked on social media, reality television, online dating, and texting as a primary way of communication. We have lost that one-on-one communication, the art of conversation, and the true human contact that we need as people. When you are having a tough day, your friend sitting beside you listening to every word and giving you support is not the same thing as a sad face emoji. Someone on their computer giving advice, criticism, and direction is not the same thing as leadership and the counsel of a true friend.
Your generation is struggling. All too common is a phrase (wording may vary), “I do not have a best friend”. You have grown up in a world that does not support the friend as defined by Google. This type of friend takes commitment, engagement, and real soul-searching honesty. This person is one in a million, but once found, is irreplaceable. This person is the type who challenges you to the core, and ultimately teaches you to survive and be the best you possible. So why is it so challenging to find? Why has it become an area of failure for so many?
Finding this person requires us to know ourselves. What is important to us, and what do we need from those closest to us? Furthermore, how do we identify these qualities and traits in others? It takes time, patience, discovery, trial and error, and ultimately trust. You cannot build these types of relationships via text, Snap Chat, or social media of any kind. It takes us putting ourselves out there and allowing others to get to know us. It is a wonderful process and can change our lives in an instant.
Get out there and meet someone at a coffee shop, at a park, or a class. Talk to them. Ask them genuine questions. Be interested in them, as they will become interested in you. If they aren’t a person who will make your life stronger and better, talk to another person. And another. You will find people who add value in various aspects of your life. Nurture those relationships. Make them a priority and they will be there for a lifetime.
Now, on a different note……
The statistics of bullying (live and online) is atrocious. The words being used by people today is cutting us to our core. Our self-confidence, ability to trust others, and our view of our world is at jeopardy. We need others, but our society allows others to have too much control. Others hide behind a screen, saying things they would never say to someone’s face. The damage done is unseen, but life altering.
For those who are struggling, any negativity that occurs from the world is even harder to overcome. Every negative word cuts us deeper and deeper, as we aren’t talking to those who show us how good and loved we are. We are shown a picture of ourselves that is not who we really are. It’s someone else’s vision of us, manipulated to fit their agenda. Stop allowing them this power and control. Take your life back.
Focus on you. Focus on who you are, deep down. Forget everyone else for the moment. Who are you? What about you are you proud of? What is your gift to others and the world (we all have one!)? Imagine that you met someone who instantly adored you. What characteristic did they find so wonderful? What are your dreams? What makes you truly happy? Where do you find peace and beauty in the world?
Sometimes we just need someone to explore our world with, without judgment or influence. Someone who will listen, challenge us, and push us forward past all the junk of today. Invest in yourself and those in your life. Choose those who bring a positive influence. Choose those who build you up, not tear you down. We get to choose who we are and what we want for our future. Despite your past, your future is an unwritten book. Discover yourself, and create your journey. It’s an amazing story with a beautiful ending. Start writing………
Happy 2017! I hope you all had an amazing holiday season and your new year is off to a great start. How many of you made resolutions? How many of you are still excited and energized with those resolutions?
I am constantly asked why I don’t like or participate in resolutions. It’s a tradition and the goals in our life over the next year. Seems positive and fun, right? So what’s my issue! As a life coach, I help people achieve life altering, tough changes. I know the struggles and up/down moments in the process. I love how energizing and awesome it feels when the goal becomes a daily habit. I also respect how terribly difficult it is when you realize that it’s harder than you thought to make a change and you feel like you may never achieve success.
Giving up soda for a year or getting back into the gym and gaining that body you always dreamed of seems like a great way to start your “new direction”. Unfortunately, it rarely achieves what you intended it makes failure in goals an acceptable or common thing. When you make a commitment, it needs to become a lifestyle decision. Failure is not an option.
“I am giving up soda because it makes me feel tired and my stomach always hurts. I may lose a pound or two, but the cost and health impact is my main motivation.” I made this commitment fifteen years ago and haven’t had a soda since.
“I am going to get healthy and work out more because my back always hurts and strengthening my core will help. I will become stronger for my kids and set the example by working out, eating heathy choices, and living an active lifestyle.” This was my motivation to go back into the gym and prepare myself to hike for two weeks in Colorado with my kids last summer. I gave up sugar, eat healthy options because I genuinely prefer them now, and choose to play with my kids on a daily basis. When I ask my family what they like best about me being their mom, their answer is always, “we enjoy doing things with you”. Success achieved.
I love that we all want to constantly improve ourselves. It’s such an awesome thing. Just choose things that you want for more than a year. Answer these questions:
- Why do I want to make this change?
- How will my life be different when I do make these changes?
- What will happen if I don’t succeed?
If you can’t answer these questions and feel the excitement and energy, then choose something else. Find those who will support you, push you, and hold you accountable to success. Ignore the fads and focus on your life journey and identity. These are worth the time and effort!! Go Achieve the World!!
With all our technological and worldly advances, we still struggle with the basic concept of humanity and rights. When I speak to adults, rationale through their own life experiences are expressed. When I speak to youth, I discover rationale through their dreams and aspirations for their future. However, when we speak about accountability, responsibility, and ideas for change, the conversation becomes eerily quiet, regardless of the audience.
As parents, we are quick to share our thoughts on every topic under the sun, and ensure our children are growing up with all the benefits and opportunities available to them. There is no question that our young scholars will receive extra tutoring support to pass their AP exams or make superior scores on their SAT / ACT. Our future athletes will have hitting / catching / pitching coaches, attend the elite college soccer camps, and spend money and time at amazing development centers. However, when it comes to society and human interaction, we tend to leave status quo.
No one agrees with cyber bullying, but how many times has the conversation occurred in your family to elicit ideas and ways to support victims and inspire change? I hear about the social engineering that occurs at high schools to ensure daughters have Homecoming dates. Why are we not preparing our daughters for self-acceptance, self-respect, and social independence? We spend so much time in the background protecting our children from failure that we have failed to actually protect our children.
There are a few thoughts that come to mind:
What does all this mean and how, as parents, can we truly help our youth?
I heard a song today.
"Burning House" by Cam
"And I been sleepwalking
Been wandering all night
Trying to take what's lost and broke
And make it right"
There is a lot more to this song, and if you get a chance to listen to it, it's good. This small part of the chorus is an accurate image to so many people in their lives. For those who struggle in their personal or professional lives, it feels as though we are sleepwalking throughout the days and nights trying to make it all acceptable.
There is such a comfort in staying close to the fire, as hot or painful as it may be. We know the evils that exist and how to survive them day-to-day. Therefore so many of us, despite what we truly want, sleepwalk through our lives hoping we are okay with the ending.
What makes us okay with the mediocre? Why are we blind and afraid of the possibilities and only see the risks? Were we like this as children, or did it develop as adults? What is our breaking point in our life?
I have heard time and time again the excuses and stories that prevent us from seeing the light. What our lives could be..... What would make us incredibly happy..... What our passions are...... What our place is in this world..... What is our purpose......
I was driving from Denver and crossing through the mountains at sunset. I came around a turn and saw this amazing sight. The light is there, we just have to travel a little to see it. Over the next few weeks, I will write about finding your purpose(s). This is near and dear to my heart, as I feel like I am always redefining mine and trying to ensure I'm on the right path. Until then, I choose to appreciate the gentle reminder that the light is there if you lift your head in the right direction. Always look up.
Our world is a gift. The people, animals, weather, everything was created for our use and benefit. For some reason, the human race tends to destroy it under the rationale of fairness, control, fame.....
I live in Dallas. The events that happened a few weeks ago still shock me. Then you add Nice, Paris, Wurzburg, San Bernadino, Orlando, Baton Rouge, and every single unnecessary police brutality event. The list is too long. I understand that there is evil in this world, but I also know there is good. To attack an innocent person for the evil doing of another does not solve any issues or right any wrong. It continues to influence negativity and spread evil.
We all want to change the world. However, we don't want to change ourselves. One can't happen without the other. I am frustrated. I react too quickly. I assume the worst at times. I need to change and I am working hard to do so. Change is a lifelong challenge and internal commitment. The world is full of beautiful, talented, God-created people. I cannot, nor will not, judge another, as I have never walked a day in their shoes.
I wish everyone had equal opportunities and rights. We don't. I grew up moving every two years. I didn't know my father after he left when I was eight. I went to a public high school and my mom struggled working three jobs to pay bills and feed our family. Does that mean that I should blame anyone for the life I was given? Absolutely not. Many others had it much harder, and they made choices to live their life to the fullest. They are strong and amazing people that I respect immensely.
They say that we judge others on the areas of our own lives that we are unhappy. I am making a commitment to reevaluate those areas and make a decision each day to not allow myself to judge others. There are many religions, races, cultures, and creeds. Love one another. Help one another. Will you join me?
"You must be the change in the world you want to see." Mahatma Gandhi
When I was a child, I did not like summer vacation. My parents worked so I spent three months in my house trying to make the most out of the quiet time. My siblings and I created games, tried cooking, and rode bikes for hours. We didn't have family vacations or camps planned. I had to be my own entertainer. Great for imagination development, but also a great opportunity to allow worry, fear and anxiety to creep into the head.
Today's children are no different. In many ways, they have it harder. Social media is too prevalent in our children's world. They have social pressures and knowledge that I never had to deal with. The events they are being excluded from, the self-perceived images of what they should look like or how they should act to gain attention, and the very honest truth from those hiding behind a computer screen about every subject and person. Youth today are not afraid to hurt another person's feelings in an effort to express themselves openly, especially using apps that encourage this type of behavior. Summer allows many opportunities for youth to begin questioning their identity, values, and goals in life.
Our children today are being asked to create their identity by the age of ten. Competitive soccer player, aspiring artist, college allegiance....... In some high schools, you are required to declare your college major / career path by 9th grade. How are our children equipped to make such important decisions? Many make these decisions based on family desires, cultural influences, social interactions, or whatever seems easiest / most fun. Then, when exposed to things that make them question themselves, they have no personal desire or strength to fall back on.
Life happens, and it happens quickly. One day a child is free-spirited, dreaming of all the possibilities the world provides. The next, they are making adult, identity and life journey decisions. Are your children prepared for this day? Are they fully aware of their true desires and wants, and do they have the strength and conviction to make choices for their life? Do they have a road map to handle the bumps and detours along the way? Do they have your support in whatever choices they make? This type of life equipment is critical in preparing them for their life ahead.